I finally attempt to Vlog

Here it is
It was rather spontaneous and mostly the product of procrastination. You don't have to like it. It's just three minutes of me being me.
I do have ideas for the next one and friends already requesting me to talk about so and so topic or collaborate and it makes me very glad that I have potential content to put up and people who are willing to participate.
Thank you for checking it out as well :) 

Make Up is for Ugly People

Or so I thought for the longest time.
Recently however, I have found myself liking the prettier girl in the mirror every time I have to put some on for occasions.
Does that make me ugly, I wonder.
Why must you paint your face?
Is it because you think less of your natural appearance?
Sure you're not the fairest, nor do you possess clear skin and it certainly doesn't bother you but is allowing yourself to indulge in an abstract sense of beauty under layers of foundation and streaks of eye liner an insecurity?

"I'm a guy. This is a woman's indulgence."
Okay well look at that photo you have on Facebook, the one in the suit and the tie and the well adjusted hair. You looked your best, eh? Yeah you like that picture. All the aunties that scowl at you when you walk around all sweaty and worm after a long day of college or a football game said you looked chikna that day.
Relate now?

"It is an indulgence for the vain" you claim, while you sift through the the clotheslines at pantaloons on off season sales in local or online shopping centres.

"It is an indulgence for the rich, the west" you justify, as you wait for an uncle to return from the States with your new wardrobe rolled up in travel bags.

"It's the bollywood bimbos and Bieber"
You shrug it away, and then scroll through your twitter feed and watch them flash their brands on TV.

"I am simple" you proclaim.
Sure.

"What's wrong with trying to look good?"
Nothing. Nothing at all.
But, you look great all the time anyway. Regardless of what you wear or do to your face. If you can't believe that, you must be ugly.

"What are you getting at?"
Hypocricy? Vanity? I'm not sure. I just woke up and I haven't moved. It's almost noon. I should brush my teeth.
Good morning.

No Plain Blaine

Before Criss Angel and Hannibal took over, I remember AXN airing a lot of David Blaine. He was greatness in faded jeans and the same old black T-shirt. He'd pick volunteers from the streets and have them cussing and screaming and running away. Eye popper. Jaw dropper. All in a matter of a few hushed words and a swift motion of the hand. When he was done, he'd walk away with the same droopy eyes and hunched back.

Apart from his magic tricks, Blaine was fond of taking his body to extremes. He'd test his endurance through feats that I'll let your curiosity google. One such exercise that stayed with me was Above The Below, where he stayed in a glass box hung a over the Thames for a forty-four days with nothing but water supply, a pillow, blankets and his diary.

Sure, he battled starvation and an unfair amount of booing as well cheering. Yes, he lost a fourth of his weight and his BMI dropped dangerously. Also yes, he suffered an unhealthy sort of isolation-a so close yet so far feeling. Sure, he is a symbol of the undying human spirit and endurance and will power and I respect the man for it all.

However, it's what I remember him saying after those forty-four days that troubled me. He spoke of a revelation. Of course you'd have one too if you're going to be with yourself for that long and watch the sun rise and set everyday and watch the ants below drive around and go to work and live their lives and watch the stars traverse their course each night and have no one but yourself to share it with when you marvel at it all, but there was more to his epiphany.
He learnt something up there. He'd written about it in his diary. He'd said that when he was back on the ground he was surprised by how easily he'd forgotten his lesson and he was glad he had it all written down.

I have wondered then and I still wonder now, what magnificent truth did you uncover Mr.Blaine? What did you see that no one else on this planet living their routine lives missed? We must be missing this truth real hard if Blaine himself almost forgot it upon descending back to life with us here on ground level, that too after taking more than a month's meditation to understand it.

How I have wished you'd tell me. But like all your stunts, you leave me guessing.

Smashed it

Shut Up Brain

I don't like being alone with you lately.
It's terrifying.
You don't let me sleep.
You don't let me study.
You don't allow me to completely enjoy the present.
You don't magnify the good, but focus on what isn't.
You want what I cannot have.
You judge.
You don't let me look forward.
Stop it. Let me be goddamnit.

I know it is not easy to let go.
I know it can be paralysing.
I know the void that empties the space just under my diaphragm, the cue to that  lump that forms in the throat, as if my body were conforming to the cosmic principle of conserving matter.
I know that twitch of the lip and the cringe of the nose that precedes the first tear that pierces through the eye. The one I've been trying to fight back the hardest.
I know keeping yourself busy seems like running away.
I understand what hurts.
But it will hurt only as long as you decide to let it hurt.

So shut up man. Go to sleep.
It's 2:43am.

____________________________________

That was not fair of me was it.
I'm sorry.
No one knows me like you do.
No one knows you like I do.
You've always wanted the best for me too.
If you can't get over it it's also because I can't
We shall work on this together okay?
But the we need the sleep now.
It's 3:19am
I love you and I will never leave you
Not because I can't even if I wanted to
But because I should be accepting you for better or worse
Through thick and thin
Always and all ways
You are amazing and you should never forget to be the awesome self you are.
Your health is mine
Your well being is mine
Your attitude is mine
We'll device a plan to work around this.
Come on now. We have work to do in the morning.
The world is our oyster, am I right?
Just breathe. Sleep tight!